Game Over – wedding t-shirt – $6 at 6dollarshirts.com
Funny Wedding T-Shirts – The recent issues that the NFL is struggling with had started a broader conversation on domestic abuse, but from what I’ve seen, the power is usually held by the “fairer” sex.
Marriage itself is an institution that stifles a million years of male instinct, and this inner-struggle is evident in the funny wedding t-shirts online.
The dilemma of Marriage
Essentially, the idea of marriage to men is like a silver-back ape being offered a comfortable cage at the zoo with regular meals in exchange for their freedom. As long as you don’t freak out and attack anyone, you get food, medicine, a grassy little yard, and even thrown an occasional toy.
Plus, when you commit to one vagina for the rest of your life, you get an expensive party called a wedding thrown for you by your future wife’s family. It’s like a bris, when the Rabbi cuts off the tip of the baby’s penis, except in this ceremony it’s the balls that come off.
But what are the other options, really?
On some level men need a project manager, or we’ll end up idling in neutral indefinitely. Maybe it’s sexist, but how would we coordinate kids’ birthday parties and do the laundry if left to our own devices? Plus, Have you ever seen guys in their 40’s at college bars when it’s not Homecoming? It’s not natural.
So, as primates we’re presented with a dilemma: either crawl into the cage, grab a head of lettuce and get comfortable, or escape the zoo and wander the streets of the city, foraging for food and scaring children.
Big Mistake – Wedding t-shirt from Busted Tees
“Marriage is neither heaven nor hell. It is simply purgatory” – Abraham Lincoln
“Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you’re supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don’t feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And, uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be…” Will Ferrell, Old School
Under New Management – Wedding / engagement t-shirt